I’m reluctant to mention this as I’m not too comfortable with the Conservatives targeting the “Gay vote”. Couldn’t care less about them targeting people who happen to be Gay to vote for them, the more the merrier I say. But I’m a gut individualist who doesn’t like the idea of Identity Politics. As you can imagine I support people voting on whether the policies of a political party will be good for them and their country, not whether the government is proffering tax subsidised goodies and perks to their particular group.

Were the Tories right to apologise about Section 28. Absolutely, the government should not interfere in peoples lives, between the sheets or outside them as long as it doesn’t harm anybody else. And if Homosexuals wanted to point out to kids – look, this happens, there’s nothing wrong with you if you feel this way, and if you need to talk to someone about it you can do here, then the Conservatives were wrong to block this. Yet at the same time I also suspect that it wasn’t Homosexuals who were giving out helpful advice, but the Homosexual lobby who were pushing an agenda, which is a very very different thing. To them I would say the same thing that I say to the Government – don’t interfere in peoples lives.

We move on to Labour’s divide and conquer technique. Saying the party is rammed with Homophobes. I’m sure the Conservative party has Homophobes, but if you think it is confined to a section of the Tory party you are very much mistaken. I also suspect that if you stuck a gay person in a room of Conservative “Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells” they would be treated with a damn sight more courtesy and respect than a Labour Working Men’s Club in an old pit town. This is yet another attempt by Labour to create “issues”, slander the opposition, and create a belief that you need the state to look after you because you are incapable of looking after yourselves.

I suspect that Homosexuals, like every other strata of the population will be looking at the economic record of Labour and casting their vote accordingly. The Conservatives don’t really care anymore what you get up to between your own sheets, but they do want you to be able to afford the damn sheets in the first place. Thanks to Zanu Labours economic policy this is less likely. Like “Mr 10%”, this another blatant attempt to shore up what Labour see as a crumbling core vote. And as Ian dale says, Gay people have their own eyes and they can see what you’ve done to this country.

I found a great quote on the comment section of Ian dale's piece...

It's all clear to me now. I can't believe I didn't see it before.'The Tories plan to cut the number of UK homosexuals by 10%, whereas Labour is committed to investing in homosexuality. There will, in fact, be a 0% rise in total spending on all things homosexual under a Labour government. Labour has brought forward capital spending related to homosexuality, to help homosexuals through this downturn which, of course, started in America.

Labour is seeking to help the most homosexual members of society, whereas the Tories would do nothing. They are the 'do nothing party'.

I hope the leaked government memo above helps clarify the situation for all of you. It certainly worked wonders for me.

P.S. Reading the Labour apologists' posts has been a great source of amusement. I thought such pent-up frustration and bitterness was the preserve of the opposition, not the incumbent government? Ah well, best to get some practice in, eh?

It seems our Prime Minister just keeps putting his foot in it a la Silvio Berlusconi. We’ve just had a “0% rise” from Mr Brown in Prime Ministers Question Time today. Add this to “Obama Beach”, “No more Boom and Bust”, "Saviour of the World", and the “Czechoslovakian” people gaffe he’s really loosing it. Everybody knew he was incompetent and a liar, but he’s really raising the bar on how not to talk in PMQ’s. If you’re going to lie, get Mandelson to show you how, not Blinky Balls.

As some of you may be aware, there has been a little spot of bother in Honduras – the place Starbucks gets its Coffee from. There has been a coup where the democratically elected President has been deposed by the Army. Hardly news for Central America you would say. But this one is quite interesting and harder to pick than a broken nose on who is going to come out on top – the deposed President or the Army.

Furthermore I find myself in quite a quandary over this one. On the one side you have twats like Hugo Chavez, Evo Morales and Luiz Da Silva supporting the guy. So you know he’s a demagogue and bullshit artist driving his country towards a one party state; and the economy of his country down the lavatory. On the other hand I agree with Democracy and the Rule of law. Short Recap of what happened in Honduras. The Demagogue government got elected, the constitution said that they weren’t allowed to hold a referendum within 180 days, the Supreme Court of judges upholds constitution and says government can’t hold a referendum within 180 days, government asks Army to help with constitution – Army says can’t hold referendum within 180 days. Government fires head of Army. The demagogue government ignores constitution, Judges and marches into army bases to collect ballot boxes (where they are stored) to hold referendum within 180 days. Army gets the arse and frogmarches President onto plane in his Pyjamas (which since they had Snoopy on them is against constitution) and sends him to Costa Rica. World’s politicians moan about how deeply unfair it is that politicians can’t ignore Constitution, and how Army shouldn’t have the right to frogmarch Politicians onto planes. Army says “Blow me”.

The only military dictator I’ve liked is the chap in charge of Fiji. But he bought me a beer so he can’t be all bad (see my pictures on Facebook); and besides he sends his political prisoners (who ironically were punished for starting a coup) to an island beach with palm trees, which even Amnesty Insufferable has a hard time comparing to the Gulags of North Korea and the Burmese treatment of Aung San Suu Kyi. On the other hand I’ve also met a bloke in Angola who chopped people’s hands off (again in a drinking establishment) so Military rule can be a double edged sword. Obviously in most all countries in the world the Military is the only efficient state run organisation in the nation (including the UK). Can you imagine if the Health Department tried to take a country over? They would have to reopen all the patients they left scalpels and Artery Forceps in to arm themselves; mis-identify the Radio Station and bridges about three times before pure chance got them to the structures in question. They would then announce they could not cure the problem as the medicine required would be too expensive, and then send the country home with some paracetamol to die. I suppose the Fire Service could be called efficient, but they’re too busy trying to get into the knickers of housewives whose Cat they just plucked from a tree. Basically the Army takes over or nobody does. This causes great angst amongst politicians, as they don’t like reminding that they are included, nay, are indeed the pinnacle of the non-efficient end of the State curve.

So what have we learnt about Military Coups, kids? Well obviously you can derive great enjoyment from the fact that Hugo Chavez is squirming, and having a quick reminder of what happens to Lefties when they inevitably mess up - no matter how many peasants they arm. South America hasn’t had this much of a demonstration of the limits of political power since Salvador Allende blew what few brains he had out with an AK-47 inscribed “To Sal – love and kisses from your buddy Fidel”. Furthermore I’m bemused by the staggering incompetence of Obama and the US State department who are kissing ass to the Saudis, Syrians and assorted Islamic undemocratic whack jobs; yet get all misty eyed for democracy when a pro-American Army overthrows an Anti-American president. You haven’t seen such a catastrophic failure of American Diplomacy and power projection since President Carter. On the other hand we must mourn the death of democracy in another country in Central & South America. To support such actions would be hypocrisy of the highest order. Just because it's Right doesn't make it right.

For those of you wanting to read more this is an excellent piece.

Mr Eugenides has a lovely piece of invective about Gordon’s plans for the future of the UK. Building Britain’s Future is the title of this unmitigated disaster, and it is accurate in that the only future Britain will have is under a mountain of debt. The fact that he is doing this because he has been caught in a lie by Cameron is transparent. The fact that he will leave this nation with an eye watering level of debt to pay for “Private tutors” for children his education policies have comprehensively failed is a staggering indictment of this government. This must be a deliberate plan to ruin the country, you couldn’t be this incompetent by accident; game theory would rule out the possibility of making every decision you make the wrong one.

Interestingly G. Brown has also said “Local residents will be given priority over immigrants and people from other areas on council housing queues”. The Labour party is shitting itself that its welfare client state might stop voting for them, and go for the party with the spiffy black costumes and arm bands. Because despite what Lefties tell you ad-nauseum; pissed off Socialists vote National Socialist. Disaffected Tories run off to UKIP. So Labour have gone for the “British Jobs for British workers” line again in hope of combating the attraction of their welfare state supporters to the Blonde Haired, Blue eyed Volk party. And yet again they will have no plans to actually go through with their rather disturbing invective, which is probably one of the few times you’re happy the Labour party are a lying bunch of shits. Of course what they should do is cut down on illegal immigration, but that would mean running something (in this case the Home Office) competently.

The Lions game over the weekend was marred by a cockend who goes by the ridiculous name of Schalk Burger. A name reminiscent of the description of a bowel movement after a heavy session at McDonalds. He was caught by a linesman eye gouging his opponent Luke Fitzgerald - it can be seen here. And instead of sending the seeping cock wart off they gave him a yellow card. They have since given the shitbag a pathetic 8 week suspension where he should have been slapped with either a 4 year ban or been locked in the dressing room with the lions squad armed with rubber truncheons. I also noted from the video that Pierre Spies tries to stop Luke Fitzgerald from protecting his eyes by yanking his hand away – he’s a dickhead too. This violent cheating on the part of Mr Burger is understandable as Schalk Burger’s mother was part of a secret plan by the Apartheid government to mitigate Black anger over the Sharpeville massacre. She willingly volunteering to take it up the arse from any man in that township. His father offered an equivalent sacrifice for the Republic for those that bat for Lancashire but was refused on grounds of public health.

Meanwhile the head twat of the Yaarpie team amazingly defended the actions of this venereal rash on the game of Rugby, by saying this is part and parcel of the game! Since when did deliberately trying to blind your opponent for life become part and parcel of this noble game. Peter de Villiers said it didn’t even deserve 10 minutes for trying to deliberately cripple your opponent. This is partly understandable as De Villiers is born of a long string of illegitimate children whose great grandmother serviced the 12th Prince of Wales Royal Lancers during the Boer war.

The Yaarpies kicked and punching their way to victory like they always do. But I have a solution to this problem. My suggestion for the future of the Lions tour. Announce now that the Lions will tour Argentina and Uruguay instead of South Africa the next time round. The Yaarpies always put out teams of borderline psychopaths who are there to do nothing more than cripple Lions players during the warm up games anyway. The individual nations have to play them in tests, we don’t have to boost their economy.

Oh and Ronan O’Gara is a wankstain too. Never liked the bloke, don’t know why, but he seemed to have been born a nasty moron.

Michael Jackson's dates have all been cancelled......James 10, steve 7.......

MJ is not going to be cremated. He’s going to be made into carrier bags. That way he can stay white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.

Hospital staff don't know what to do with Michael Jackson's body as plastic recycle day is not until next Tuesday